Letting him go.

A two and half (2 ½) year relationship has just ended. I am facing now the long process of healing and getting over the lost relationship. I have to accept the pain, the heartaches, the depression the sleepless nights and the tears from my eyes falling down to my face as I remembered those sweet memories I shared with him.

I thought he was the right guy for me. We made a promised to each other that whatever will happened our relation will last forever. He was so supportive, so loving, so understanding, so faithful and honest person. Wala ka ng hahanapin pa sa kanya. Kaya lang may parents akon kelangan tulungan, may kapatid na umaasa pa sa akin (panganay kasi ako) at higit sa lahat may obligation pa ako sa taong nagpaaral sa akin sa kolehiyo. Masakit tanggapin at isipin na nawawalan na ako ng oras at panahon sa kanya.. unfair noh?? but what should I do? He is asking for my time pero hindi ko maibigay. Nasasaktan ako tuwing maalalang naghihintay siya sa akin tuwing kelangan niya ang presensya ko.

This time magulo isipan ko. Bakit umabot sa ganito ang lahat? Sinasabi niya sa akin na nauunawaan niya ako ngunit bakit hindi ko iyon nararamdaman? Bakit umabot sa sitwasyong hindi na namin nauunawaan ang isa't isa? Bakit kelangan ko siyang saktan? Bakit ako pa ang pinili niya? Feeling ko wala akong kwentang girlfriend. Masaya naman kami dati eh... Nauunawaan niya ako at ganoon din siya. Simpleng oras at panahon lang ang problema namin. Nagtatrabaho ako at siya'y nag-aaral. Masakit tanggapin ngunit kelangan. Dahil nasasaktan ko siya at ganoon din ang sarili ko,,, :(

Broken, I found myself crying out to the Lord, I pleaded that He show His face to me and speak to me through His Word. I needed His comfort so badly, that I demanded His attention. Psalm 120:1 “I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.” God is indeed faithful. He quickly comforted me, and I found myself seeing a lot of positive things that He will allow me to experience. He reminded me that if He takes something away, He will replace it with something much, much better. He reminded me in Psalm 81:16 that he will satisfy me.

From being depressed, I immediately felt joy in my heart. I looked in the mirror and didn’t see a gloomy face anymore, but I saw a glow in my face that was filled with joy knowing that Christ has a lot of beautiful surprises in store for me.

So what if I’m single, it’s not the end of the world. In fact it shall be a new beginning. I did end a relationship, I have given up a good man but I have opened a better opportunities to help my parents and brothers and to do my obligations in life.

I guess God allowed this relationship to end, for me to first learn to love him, and to do my life's mission. Baka darating pa ang oras na pareho kaming masaktan lalo. Its better to let him go kesa naman na dadamayin ko siya sa mga responsibilidad ko sa buhay:(

I’m sure in His time He will allow me to meet “the one” He has been preparing for me all these years. One day I shall meet God’s perfect match for me, but till then I will allow myself to lavish in God’s abundant and perfect love.

Broken hearted? Yes, First time.. sad noh? Pero kung sakaling siya ang itinadhana para sa akin,, buong puso ko paring tatanggapin.. kelangan ko lng ngayon ng panahong mag-isip at gawin ang mga bagay na dapat mag-isa kong tatapusin. If he really love me, he will wait for the right time at maunawaan niya ang lahat ng naging disisyon ko.

Patawarin mo sana ako sanay lubusan mo akong nauunawaan..

Cheer up!